`~MOi oWn WuRLd~`

last post

2008-12-05T02:25:00.003+08:00

he finally did smth tat i needed him to do.

i cant put him out of my life, so he had to put me out of his life instead.

tat marks the end of our frenship, and marks the end of my blog too.

thanks guys for being such vivid readers of my blog, but this is my last post im ever putting up.

i guess it makes things easier for both of us too. =)

goodbye peeps. merry christmas =)

- Remo Putty Practice Pad (Putty) 8.95
- Works for Marimba (by Keiko Abe) 29.95
- Dream of the Cherry Blossoms (by Keiko Abe) 13.50
- gab's dono wat series Malletech marimba sticks.. DS 11. not sure how much either..
- new music stand! mine's falling apart - flute stand!
- more flute music? :D
- THAT free-diary tat i saw when i was with steven at plaza sing S$18.90 (tats a crazy price for a free-diary. but still.. ^_^v)
- a nice, flattering dress for the comms ball - jus a nice 17th dec. really, tats all i ask for.

lost, emptiness, agony

2008-12-02T17:10:00.002+08:00

lost. emptiness. agony.

tat's wat i've been feeling all week. suddenly, all the agony has an extra strong dosage on me recently.

its taken a toll on me, until i have to call in sick. maybe also partly cox i've had too much choc to take yesterday nite ba.

anyway....

uh. dono wat to say le.

haix.

bothers and priceless frens

2008-11-30T01:06:00.004+08:00

ais. a few thing bothering me..

the band issue is become more n more... mind boggling. i cant make up my mine, neither can i come up with a solution to please everyone. well generally speaking, its either pleasing me or pleasing him. so, yeah. have been really lost in thought abt this matter for a few days le, and i still havent come to a conclusion. and i need to make a decision before the weekend's over.
any suggestions? im asking, whether i should teach band at a low rate. tag tag tag!

the other thing is, we're not talking. tats bad. really bad. omg. how. haix.. and i thought i had enough on my plate.

over-ate tonite. feeling a little terrible, and i hope i can fit into my dress. =X =X =X

sillyjam is feeling a little depressed, bcox 1) she cant come to a decision, 2) she's doesnt seem to be on good terms with a fren (and vice versa) and 3) she's growing fat.

uhhh... =(

From Sebastian Yio's blog. really meaningful ^_^

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, 'Who would like this $20 bill?'. Hands started going up.
He said, 'I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, 'Who still wants it?' Still the hands were up in the air.
Well, he replied, 'What if I do this?' And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. 'Now, who still wants it?' Still the hands went into the air.
My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value.
It was still worth $20.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE and WHOSE WE ARE. You are special - Don't EVER forget it.'

Count your blessings, not your problems.

And remember: amateurs built the ark .... professionals built the Titanic.

good news to share..

2008-11-27T02:09:00.002+08:00

it's all good news today...

MY LAPTOP'S BACK ON TRACK! >.<>

but its such a chore to upload all the files and programs up.. still.. YAY :D

21st Century International Band Competition 2008 @ Genting Highlands

Pasir Ris Sec Sch Band: 82 GOLD, top band
Nan Chiau Wind Orchestra: 82 GOLD, 1st runner-up
Changkat Changi Sec Sch Band: 78 SILVER, top silver band

whaaaaaa.... *all smiles* i bet they're celebrating wildly now. hahha.. well done peeps!

mario video's out! :D :D :D

chirstmas wishlist update, ball jitters

2008-11-25T20:41:00.002+08:00

a few things to add to my chirstmas wish list.. :D

- Remo Putty Practice Pad (Putty) 8.95
- Works for Marimba (by Keiko Abe) 29.95
- Dream of the Cherry Blossoms (by Keiko Abe) 13.50
- gab's dono wat series Malletech marimba sticks.. dono wat model number, 11. not sure how much either..
- NEW lappy! :D or at least mine, a repaired one. heh. S$1000++?
- new music stand! mine's falling apart
- flute stand!
- more flute music? :D

right.. now u must be asking, how come all music related de.. tats simply because I NEED THEM. -.-

- THAT free-diary tat i saw when i was with steven at plaza sing S$18.90 (tats a crazy price for a free-diary. but still.. ^_^v)
- a nice, flattering dress for the comms ball
- jus a nice 17th dec. really, tats all i ask for.

right. i cant hold it anymore. for heaven's sake. i AM nervous abt it okay.. NERVOUS. i think eugene is beginning to find me irritating abt me asking him abt fine dining ettiquette le.. zzzz.. at first, i was jus reeeeeally interested to know abt it. then when joey asked me to it.. i HAD to noe it.. different feeling leh. *stressed*

ahhh!!!

updates and ball

2008-11-25T00:53:00.002+08:00

right, i few things to update.

i think i noe who 'none' (on the tagboard) is. there's only one other asshole whom i noe would say such a thing. but nvm, doesnt matter.

was out with jianhong on sunday nite for movie. haha.. thanks for saving me from rotting away.. lol!
watched chihuahua. funny movie! should catch it if u havent ;)

then today.. isaac came to nafa, i tried my best to help him with his chords stuff and well, i think i didnt do much la. mearly let him use the grand piano. heh. after watching him finish dinner, met up with steven. tat hungry pig wanted sushi. i still wasnt hungry. but had a sushi or two. and my irristable chawamushi! :D

LOL

gosh. frens already making christmas plans.. O.O

yeah tats all.. looking forward to the ball..

wat an asshole

2008-11-21T01:07:00.003+08:00

[23:41] sillyjam :
hey benjamin
[23:41] sillyjam :
u have a book of keiko abe's compilation of works rite?
[23:48] Ben.Boo - 平凡就是福。。。我只想教好我的学生，当个出色的音乐家，就很满足了。。。:
yes why?
[23:48] sillyjam :
can i borrow tat book?
[23:48] Ben.Boo - 平凡就是福。。。我只想教好我的学生，当个出色的音乐家，就很满足了。。。:
for?
[23:48] sillyjam :
to play lor
[23:48] sillyjam :
wat else? o.o
[23:51] Ben.Boo - 平凡就是福。。。我只想教好我的学生，当个出色的音乐家，就很满足了。。。:
i dont think you're ready for those solos yet....on the real. besides i think you should start to buy your own originals already. i find that if i keep on lending you guys my scores, photocopy for you guys then you guys will just get free stuff. then what for i buy them sia? you get what i mean? i'll help you this one last time, you go online and check what you really really REALLY want to play
[23:52] Ben.Boo - 平凡就是福。。。我只想教好我的学生，当个出色的音乐家，就很满足了。。。:
and i'll copy them for you, then that's that liao can?
[23:52] sillyjam :
O.o
[23:52] sillyjam :
u noe u could have jus said 'no'?
[23:52] sillyjam :
nvm
[23:52] sillyjam :
take it ask i nvr ask ba
[23:52] sillyjam :
thanks
[23:52] Ben.Boo - 平凡就是福。。。我只想教好我的学生，当个出色的音乐家，就很满足了。。。:
er if i did say no straight i would be selfish without explaining
[23:53] sillyjam :
yeah but u din have to say things like im not ready to play n stuff
[23:53] sillyjam :
nvm
[23:53] sillyjam :
thanks
[23:53] sillyjam :
take it tat i nvr ask
[23:54] Ben.Boo - 平凡就是福。。。我只想教好我的学生，当个出色的音乐家，就很满足了。。。:
alright sorry about it, see you tomorrow then

wat an asshole. seriously, f u.

chirstmas wishlist

2008-11-20T03:00:00.002+08:00

my christmas wishlist:

Remo Putty Practice Pad (Putty) 8.95

Works for Marimba (by Keiko Abe) 29.95

Dream of the Cherry Blossoms (by Keiko Abe) 13.50

gab's dono wat series Malletech marimba sticks.. dono wat model number, 11. not sure how much either..

NEW lappy! :D or at least mine, a repaired one. heh. S$1000++?

all figures are in US$ ^_^ LOL. except the lappy, of course.

gosh! its alot of money... havent count in shipping, taxes, and other riddiculous charges.

post-exam2

2008-11-18T23:33:00.003+08:00

FINALLY
im done with all my exams :D

i hope i can finally score AT LEAST a 4 for GPA. have been so stuck with 3.8 and 3.9 last yr. zzz....
this sem's a tough one. i almost died. zzz.

hmm.. im thinking of getting Malletech sticks.. but i cant seem to find the ones tat im looking for.. sian..

Marimba One mallets are soooo beauuuutiful! O.O but the price is also pretty 'beautiful' luh US$44++. gosh.

now my focus is... BAND BAND and MORE BAND. 3 schools going for competition at genting next week.

then its.. CHIRSTMAS! cant wait :D

not going well

2008-11-18T01:12:00.004+08:00

things are not going well.

i dono if its jus me, or if it isnt really turning out right. i feels like history repeating itself.

where are u when i need u the most? where are u when i miss u the most?

it sucks feeling smth is near yet so far. it sucks to have someone who tells u tat u mean alot, yet its not shown.

it sucks to be someone's gal when he doesnt have time for it.

if having a pet is too much to handle, i rather u not own one.

back to the qsn: isit jus me, or is history repeating itself?

yes, i am sick and tired. yes, being hurt before isnt an excuse, so it shouldnt be for u too. yes, im losing my will power. yes, im in good mind to throw my hands up and jus leave.

call me selfish, but sometimes i really have enuff of it. really enough.

saving lappy

2008-11-17T02:12:00.001+08:00

can someone save my lappy for me pleeeease? :(

academic, politic, socialic?

2008-11-16T15:19:00.002+08:00

well well well, i havent been really updating solid entries have i? well sometimes its nicer to leave things as mysteries isnt it? whahaha..

okay, so school's coming to and end. end of the first sem, tat is. yup. means im officially halfway thru nafa! :D im left with the practical exam (last paper) on tues (18th). was still panicking a week ago, but now, i think i'll do just fine, and i mean only 'just fine'.

had a tough month in october. be it in academically, politically or socially. have been on emotional roller coaster rides so often and so drastic tat i hardly bother to blog abt it anymore. even if my readers don get bored, i will.

'politically', im referring to work, there're some issues coming up with partnerships splitting up or working relations getting sour. as much as i try to avoid getting myself involved, i am already placed in a position where i am in between these two partners. haix.. feels really sian to be sausaged. and also, there's a 'money' issue coming up. i cant help it, but its becoming a problem soon. i've held back my will for a long time. i need to stand strong on my beliefs before i become a market spoiler. no one accepts $15/hr okay.

i have a guardian angel recently. this guardian angel is really, a guardian angel. whenever i feel i need someone to talk to. when im feeling down. when im feeling dejected. when im feeling like i cant go on anymore. the guardian angel will jus so happen to give me a call or drop me a msg. really, u're amazing. lol. ^_^ thanks guardian angel.

ask u ah. wat happens when the person who can make u smile, is also the person who makes u cry the most?

u noe, its always easy to start smth new (eg. new goal, new hobby, new book, new relationship), but its always difficult to maintain it. i have to admit, having 10yrs worth of relationships sometimes DO tire me out.

ah shit.

hockey VS me

2008-11-14T23:20:00.001+08:00

im not against it.

its jus tat..

i hate good byes.

yeah i admit, i am upset.. to a certain extent.

(:

turned down offers

2008-11-12T22:07:00.002+08:00

hmm. have been rejecting alot of offers lately.

mr png asked me to coach ncwo and ccss. i turned him down. said i have too much to do at school. then he said he will try to ask ms angeline. if cannot then ask me again. to me, its very.. u-noe-wat la. zzz. nvm.

turned down mr pisit's offer to be piano accompanist for his private student. $40 per hour. tat is good money lor. but its in the span of 2 weeks. tried the pieces, and don think i can do both pieces in 2 weeks, so i turned him down. passed the job to becky ng though. haha.. =D

im feeling sleeeeepy.. zzz..

i have a strong feeling tat he's asleep. shouldnt have waited. zzz..

benjamin and the subaru

2008-11-11T01:06:00.003+08:00

benjamin did his best. really.

57 hrs.

benjamin dropped out of the subaru challenge at abt 10pm tonite. he really did keep his promise to meet us at same place at nite, like we agreed the night before. jacq n i did a second set of poster for him, cox we thought the 1st would be destroyed after the really wet weather the whole day. surprisingly, he wasnt running fever.

first sign of smth was not right was when ilena msged me about 4pm. i was going to be late for mark's class and he doesnt like ppl to msg in his class. he almost confiscated sebastian's phone for doing tat. i only replied her msg abt 6.30pm. she told me 'he blur blur already'. she also mentioned when they asked benjamin whether he noes why he was there, he replied he doesnt. so tat was the fatigue sign le..

jacq n i finally made it down at abt 9.40pm. ben was getting more distracted, more expressionless. then at abt 10, he jus lifted his hand. everyone around him applaused for him. then he was staggering already. one of the marshalls wheeled a wheel-chair over. he jus collapsed into their arms and fell asleep. yeah, jus lytt.

so bcox ben's father was out of town, a family fren drove over to send him back. benedict, his younger bro, was with ben all along. haha.. i mean, really sweet to see the 2 bros. although benedict is always quarreling with ben, but when i see him trying to keep ben cool and comfortable, and letting ben lie on him in the car, cant help but smile.

benjamin huang is someone whom i would applaude to. his courage and determination is one tat many of us would admire. im impressed. really.

the other person who was really amazing was mrs huang. she actually stayed with ben thruout these 57 hrs. whoa. very very supportive. she's probably one of the best moms in the world! mrs huang, u rock!

mrs huang, benedict, ilena, bong, jacq and i were there. yup, we witnessed it all.

bravo benjamin. bravo (:

2008-11-09T15:07:00.001+08:00

introducing! the professional heart-breaker!

*drum rolls*

lewis.

such a disappointment.

THE pimple

2008-11-07T02:07:00.002+08:00

sillyjam has one BIG pimple on her face. it appeared out from nowhere. it hurts, and it doesnt look like its going away soon.

it's the first time im actually blogging abt a pimple. in fact, its the first time im feeling so frustrated over a pimple. so yes, its tat bad.

argh! =(

getting harder

2008-11-05T02:39:00.000+08:00

haix. this is getting harder.

complains nafa, PHOTOS

2008-11-01T05:29:00.007+08:00

i've lost that determination. the determination tat took me a long time to look for. the determination tat i cant remember how i found it. school is beginning to be smth i totally dont look forward too. the system is totally unfair, and i seem to be the only one suffering. im an MOE student for a purpose. and being a percussionist and jus calling me up whenever u need me isint helping. do u ppl have any idea how many bloody extra modules i have to complete? tat includes a total of 3 practical modules and 1 teaching module. and i havent mention those tat are compulsory across the cohort. unfair. totally unfair. and now my principal study isnt called 'principal' study anymore. it has jus become an 'instrumental' study. so i have 3 'instrumental' studies. guitar, piano, percussion. im lucky enuff to not have guitar classes started yet, so its down to 2. and it is super stressful. mark's not helping either with wanting me to play FOUR pieces for exam! others play 2, i play 4. WTH. im like. so dead okay. don tell me things like 'su juen, u can do it' n blah blah. cox its always easier said than done.

sometimes, i really hate nafa. i think i need to talk to mark about it. i dont have all the time in the world u noe that? i still got a life.

performance projects came non-stop for this sem. firstly, it was the turandot opera. im the only one in the section who's involved in the opera. so its one whole mth eaten up. nightly rehearsals ending at 10 or even 11. when turandot FINALLY ended, band performance came up, and percussion ensemble performance is on the same day as band's performance. yes i noe mark's trying to prove himself bcox its his first showcasing of us as his product. but tat jus means tat the preassure's on us right? music is supposed to be my passion. now it feels like a chore.

after band and percussion ensemble performance, its time to catch up with my playing. i have 2 days less than the rest to practise. monday is always packed with rehearsals and a lecture from 9am non stop till 6.30. tuesday morning starts with 2 lectures and ends at boon lay at nie. 2 days burnt. even if the time isnt burnt, my head is. but then hear comes the call for performers to play for NAFA's 70th gala concert. another 2 weeks worth of practice gone! and now, the orchestra needs another percussionist. and i have to be in it again. when are all these gonna stop huh?

alot of times, ppl like to say things like 'but it turned out to be a great experience rite? it was a great performance right?' well it isn't abt the results. its about the process. u spent hours n hours rehearsing, and tats where the problem lies. those 'hours n hours' could be spent finishing up work or practising tat new technique tat u've been trying to master.

classmates like to comment: 'wha u so kelian, got band, got orchestra, got chinese ensemble'. yeah and they are like, freaking free, everytime im attending a rehearsal, they could be at a movie theatre watching the latest movie with galfrens, or out having a really nice dinner with their guy and perhaps afterwards a nice stroll at the beach, or even having home-cooked dinner at home with family and later catching up with all the homework.

argh. i've had enuff. and enuff of complaining also. in short, school's become a chore for me, and its not smth im looking forward to, AT ALL. tuesday better be the last performance. i've stopped ALL teaching work already cox i need the time to practice. luckily school's jus beginning to break for study week, i noe mark will wanna kill me the nxt time he sees me for a lesson, and i think its time to talk to him, seriously.

so much for being passionate huh.

nafa's 70th gala dinner was POSH. i was debuting as a timpani player, and we played at Ritz Carlton hotel. we had a rocky start. or at least, i did. it was hard to keep the timpani in tune, and the 1st piece had alot of percussion solos. it got better during the repeat though. so tat was a relief. adam cheng (zheng shao qiu) sang for the dinner. a few days ago, while at nafa's website, i came acorss the advertisement for the gala dinner. the prices for the dinner were EXPENSIVE. 10 ppl per table: $3000/table, $5000/table and $10000/table. O.O
it was formal dining style. saw ladies dressed to their nines. alot of pretty ladies. haha.. i saw the senior minister, but didnt manage to spot the other 2 ministers who were there. ok photos..

while waiting for our rehearsal slot..

the table, perhaps a $5000 one...

the silverware...

after a looooong break, back in the holding room..
edward, staff of the school

rit

jasmine peh!

andi, played for brass ensemble..

did i mention, dinner was food from ritz carlton? whahahhhaha!!!

well i was looking thru my photos n found some with really nice memories...

sam (chiang) were frens since 1st jan this yr. haha.. yup. really good frens. then we had a really bad misunderstanding tat isnt resolved till today. haix.. anyway, when we were still really good, he knew i had a weakness for brownie.. there was once i was really really upset cox kenrick left us soo suddenly, and i had jus attended his funeral. my birthday was a few days later i think. so we met up for dinner. and he tried to cheer me up, by secretly ordering a brownie n asking the waitress to serve with a candle on it. lol.. super funny la. but i was so upset tat i din notice all the weird behaviour.. lol..

one day a few mths later, i was in school. still in yr one then. happened to be chatting with sam over sms, and complaining how sucky school was tat day. and he showed up, uninvited. with a brownie. LOL. he actually DABAO a brownie with the ICECREAM. wha zai. lol.. really thoughtful guy la (:

okay next story.
richard, my senior, was known to his frens as someone who changes gf like him changing his clothes. haha.. really fast. generally, he's a really nice guy. has the ah beng style of talking, but other than tat, really nice guy. can be really mean if he wanted to, and can be really nice if he wanted to. so wat happened was tat there was this new gal in sch, a korean. think she's my age. so after many switches of gal, we got to noe tat she was richard's next target. we of cox, didnt pay much attention. i mean, in 2 weeks, he's gonna change his mind again rite? haha.. apparently not. lol.
so richard tried to woo her. and by the 4th mth, he was getting really restless already. i talked to him abt it b4 (it was the holidays then). and then i realised tat richard, for the 1st time since i've known him, was really really serious abt her. haha.. when school reopened, they were finally tgt. the gal finally gave him a chance. though sometimes i cant stand them being intimate in the percussion room where everyone else was around, but i think they 2 are a really cute couple. haha.. jus abt a mth back, it was the gal's bdae. and richard went ALL out to celebrate for her. from presents to order of surprises, it was all customised to the gals liking. of cox, it came with a heafty price. 3 figures long for a pair of couple's ring, her present, and a bouquet of flowers, tats all i think. and this is the bouquet of roses. richard changed for this gal, and im sure both of them would be really happy tgt. ^_^ those 2 hor, cute la. lol..

wha.. there's a last story to tell i think.. lol..
i cant remember when, but probably 2 mths back? we had supper at watercross, a cafe/pub at a coner of pasir ris park (carpark E). jacq, eugene, benjamin and i were there. it was a 3rd time drinking, a 1st in a looong time. loved the drink i had: orange twist.. i think. cant remember. but it was voldka with orange juice. nice.. :D

tzehern was supposed to be there too, but we decided so last min to meet up tat he was already with his gf. lol.. so we tried to disturb him by sending him lame msges all at one go. we had 4 ppl, so each of us send one word to him, creating a msg with 4 words. lol.. really lame la. but it was fun. then there was an extra chicken wing left on the platter. so they took a photo of it and decided to show him tat we actually left food for him tat nite. wha. lame. lol..

ok there're more photos... random photos from school...

me, edgar, jimin. composer's platform concert.

edgar n i (3rd godbro. hahah!). percussion ensemble cum brass ensemble cum symphonic band performance. tats the 'killer' concert. tats the day before the composer's concert.

front from left: benjamin boo, richard. back from left: sebastian, zheng yi, fifi.
last concert's ensemble group. all my seniors and one sectionmate.

from left: gabriel, richard, benjamin boo, yiang shan, sebastian.
latest concert's ensemble group.

if u're wondering why im not in the ensemble group's photos, tats cox im the camera man. lol..

ok its another loooong story as to how these 2 photos came about, but im not gonna tell the story or else this post will never end. lol..

okay.. this is the main purpose of my blogging today. i was talking to hj yesterday. and im glad i talked to him. it all started when i argued tat i don believe anything he says abt me, especially when it concerns the matters of the heart. u see, if u have 3 different ppl telling u 'i love u' over sms, msn and face to face. who are u most likely to believe? of cox the one who tells u face to face rite? cox u get to look into his/her eyes, see his/her body language and actually feel the sincerity (or not) tat the person is showing and tat he/she means wat he say. so its the same thing here. i used to really believe every single word tat hj says and i would jus trust him wholeheartedly. of cox, things changed, and i changed my midset abt him too. but i still maintained the frenship with him cox at the back of my mind, i simply dont believe hj is the kinda person he seem to be potraying to be. jux not convinced. on the other hand, when it came to the matters of the heart, i totally closed up. like, totally. i rejected every guy who asked to stead n stuff.

so we came back to this topic yesterday night. and i jus said 'funny, i've never heard u say those things to me before'. and he typed the same thing again (msn). and i was like 'i meant i've never HEARD u say it before'. and then he tried to call me. lol. but of cox he din really say those stuff tat he was suppose to say, but its the first time i've actually talked.. as in TALKed so seriously with hj. and it DOES make a difference. im so glad we had tat conversation, it really proves to me tat all along, i had seen and believed in the hj tat he really was. and it was sincere. watever he said was sincere. and now i have no doubts as to wat he says, like im finally convinced, and sure tat wat he say is wat he meant.

eh. cant blame me ma. as musicans, we naturally have higher expectations of the 'art of expression'. LOL. and er. yeah. i'll make every guy do the same thing. in another words, its one of the easiest way to touch me, although its one of the hardest things to do.

so, yeah. he finally gained my trust back (:

okay i think this is the longest post u can find in my blog. lol. and it took one hour of non-stop blogging/uploading/linking/embedding. i hope u enjoyed it ppl. at least... TAG LA =D

right choices

2008-10-31T15:40:00.002+08:00

sometimes i really wonder if im making the right choices in nafa. is music really the one i wanna be in?

calling it quits

2008-10-29T01:05:00.003+08:00

sometimes i really wonder if im being heard by ppl whom i wanna sound out to. sometimes i really really wonder if u are listening to me when i need u to. its not abt listening to wat i say to u, its about listening to wat i have to say about u.

its no point complaining/whining on and on about life when u don want to make a decision and stick to it. life isn't always be 'i want it my way', and u get it. how about this. if u dont want comments, perhaps u should keep ur complains to the minimal.

im already in a very tough situation. i feel sausaged. and yes, i feel like giving up both matters. i cant say i wanna go for one and forget the other. somehow, i feel for both sides.

sometimes i really wonder if u are the one.

sillyjam is tired. she can afford to quit, and she wants to quit. she's blowing the whistle.

i told u to make ur move before i changed my mind.

moody, eye, hate

2008-10-26T17:41:00.003+08:00

have been really moody this week. i dono wats going on. really.

i think my left eye is swollen cox it was hit by the fishing weight at the timpani. ouch okay. it hurts when pressed. feels like a bruise...

im gonna announce to the whole world tat I HATE BENJAMIN BOO!!!!

happy birthday hwajiunn!

2008-10-23T00:23:00.001+08:00

suspensions should always be resolved asap. tats wat music theory says. i guess its the same for life too. i jus lost the mood after being suspended for too long. yes, im not happy. haiz..

anyway

Happy 21st Birthday Hwa Jiunn! :D i hope u like ur new blog ;)

2-in-1 balloons

2008-10-21T23:57:00.002+08:00

he asked me 'tie together or tie separately?'.
'tie together'

this way, the balloons will be attached to one another, the outer layer always protecting the inner layer. even if the outer layer bursts, at least both layers are still attached together. if both finally deflate, they'll still be attached together.

the smile

2008-10-20T13:23:00.001+08:00

so it seems like its all about that smile eh? honestly, i still dont get it.

its takes alot to keep that smile going u noe? (:

i said, he said

2008-10-19T00:54:00.002+08:00

on 3rd oct 2008, i said:

"somehow, i feel lost. i dono why. cant be home sick or wat la. i've done this a million times le. i think i jus wan a hug? n i hope the nxt person i hug will have me in his arms for the rest of his life. i dare not open my heart up again. i fear tat i might jus be looking for a substitute without knowing it. its unfair to the other party. i treat other ppl the way i wan to be treated. i don wanna get hurt by the other party n hence, i wont want to hurt 'him' too.

i dono how long it'll take to get over this matter. im obviously so not over it. its not about how many fishes there are in the sea. is abt lettin go the fish tat's biting ur fingers. in this case, one of my fingers came off already. which fish is gonna be patient enuff to actually make a bionic finger for me?

sillyjam, its time to move on..."

on 4th oct 2008, he said:

"When one is lost, there is someone out there to guide you.
When one is sad, there is someone out there to comfort you.
When one is troubled, there is someone out there to see you thru.
When one needs a shoulder, there is someone out there to lend you their.
When one needs a hug, there is someone out there to hug you.
That Someone has the patience, the patience of eternity.
If you are willing, you are worth eternity."

sweet dad

2008-10-18T22:55:00.003+08:00

wow. 3rd post of the day..

jux came back from dinner with family. its one of those dinner times which i really love. i admit, ever since i joined nafa, i spend only abt 1/4 of the time i used to spend with my family before school started.

mom n dad picked me up from sch at 8pm and then we picked ah wen up, after much discussion, we ended up at pizza hut bedok. well we were talking abt random stuff, how my exam went and how O level is coming along for ah wen.

on the way back after dinner, i was talking to dad abt smth random, and a topic tat i hardly talk to him about. talked to him abt my love life. and well, when i was younger, he'll start nagging abt how i should study n not think abt all these, blah blah blah. yeah i hated to talk to my parents abt these. the last time i talk to them abt it was probably in my late teens? lol..

so yeah. now im 18, think i wanna share some of it with my parents. so i jus told dad about it, and his response was like.. super flattering la. ok im not gonna say it here. cox if i put it here, it'll be like.. super no face ok. although this is my blog and i have almost every right to say watever i want, but still, me shy de lor :P

one of the best family dinners i had :D

ugh. perc lesson toml. help.

post hell-week

2008-10-18T15:32:00.002+08:00

the 'hell week' is over.. well, almost.

tuesday's percussion ensemble was good, considering monday was throughly packed with rehearsals till almost 8 tat night. one of my most tiring performances of the year. all the moving of instruments and the actually playing itself, walking/tip-toeing around. lol. but it was fun :D

wed was abit more... free. yup. thurs's back to full-day thingy again, chiense ensemble ended at 9, and yesterday's rehearsal ended at 10. by the time we got the instruments back to their original places, it was abt 10.30. by the time i found benjamin, it was 11.45.

so, my dearest edgar gor, please don kill me bcox u missed me on the net for the last 2 nites okay? while u were waiting for me, i was in school. doing saikang.

harmony presentation's going good, but not the chinese ensemble presentation, the deadline is getting so much nearer and people seem to have forgotten tat im not a computer, and need time do generate watever they want. they don have all the time in the world and so do i.

mark suter is soooo stressing me out.

pissed

2008-10-18T14:32:00.002+08:00

for goodness sake, no one owes u a living. if u keep dishing out weird behaviour and irritatingly scarcastic 'the world is such a terrible place' remarks, no one is going to pay attention to u. so instead of indulging urself in ur 'abstraction', WAKE UP and face reality. the only reason u're like that is becox u REFUSE to change. u REFUSE to see that the problem lies with YOU and not the world.

so much for being there for u.

forgetful me

2008-10-16T01:12:00.002+08:00

everytime i have a thought or encounter smth special, i always tell myself i'll blog it down. but when ever i come to this posting page, i forget wat i wanted to blog about. gosh. my brain needs a memory chip. well then, i'll jus mention the thing tat has been popping up in my mind the most frequently today ba!

okay this topic is really very sensitive. but i think i still have to say it. if u're not really interested in my life, jus click the 'X' button at the top right corner, for Windows users, or on the top left, for Mac users. :)

and so, i was right. i predicted a huge mess is gonna land in my laps and it did. ok well, its not really messy n tangled n stuff. it jus.. many complicated stuff.
so a certain J asked me to the commissioner's ball. i havent agreed. mainly bcox i was really surprised that he asked me to it and i wanna make sure i noe wats going on in his mind so i dont give him the wrong idea, in case he's interested in me. cox he does seem like he is interested in me. the sms, behaviour and all.. yeah. tats one.
the 2nd one is.. E. yup im surprised he actually confessed he liked me.. yeah i ever suspected, but i nvr thought it could really happen. yeah... so tats 2.
the 3rd n i think, final one, is B. haha.. this one's funny. lol.. super shy guy. hence it was super funny when he confessed his feelings. but then again, i was 3/4 dead when he told me abt it. so its like.. errr... zzzzz.. errr.. zzzzz. lol..

okok.. gonna stop here. i so need to sleeeeeep.. nite!!

percussion ensemble

2008-10-15T01:33:00.003+08:00

oh gosh, im shoooo tireeeeeed. physically tired, tat is. lol.
percussion ensemble was great! and band was one of the most tiring concerts i've been too. with al the movement, running around n stuff. mark also commented he thought it was really cool to be walking around playing. lol. wah thanks ah. im like.. half dead already lor.

i think my hair crunch looks like a doughnut. lol. ok tat was really random.

benjamin n eugene came to watch the concert (thanks guys!! :D). we headed to bedok for late-nite dinner, which started at abt 11.30. it took us almost an hour to finish packing n moving all the instruments back. hence the really late dinner.

okay watever it is, im freaking tired. im soooo going to bed already. toml round 2: performing for platform concert. playing firdaus' piece. zzz.. i wanna sleeeeeeeeep... =(

things are getting messier.......

tired day

2008-10-14T00:29:00.002+08:00

all of a sudden, i forgot wat i wanna blog abt. -.- freaking tired la.

the day started with mr tan's lecture on band directing. its a 2-hr lecture. then there's rehearsal for dr goh's compostition for toml nite's performance at 11am. another 2 hours gone. after lunch, its the other 2 band pieces tat we're performing. another 2 hrs gone. then we had a one hour break. everyone was jus stoning in the percussion room. all really tired le. 5pm we started percussion ensemble rehearsal. there was alot of movement, but rehearsal proper was abt an hour? ya.. haha..

super tired le.. zzz... going to bed soon. performace tonight. zzz..

school

2008-10-12T23:33:00.002+08:00

project, homework, portfolio, practise.
project, homework, portfolio, practise.
project, homework, portfolio, practise.
project, homework, portfolio, practise.
project, homework, portfolio, practise.
project, homework, portfolio, practise.
project, homework, portfolio, practise.
project, homework, portfolio, practise.
project, homework, portfolio, practise.
project, homework, portfolio, practise.
project, homework, portfolio, practise.
project, homework, portfolio, practise.
project, homework, portfolio, practise.
project, homework, portfolio, practise.
project, homework, portfolio, practise.
project, homework, portfolio, practise.
project, homework, portfolio, practise.

that's school for me for the next few weeks. OMG.

simplicity

2008-10-10T02:00:00.003+08:00

actually its pretty simple.

i jus wanna devote my love to the one and only who deserves it all.

but who is he? and is he ready?

dono leh.. like not ready yet. things get more... err.. quiet. too quiet for comfort.

beer belly n other O.o

2008-10-08T01:58:00.003+08:00

ahhh!! feel like a have a beer belly after the drink with a fren after dinner. had.. err.. Singapore Sling. stupid name la. but quite a nice blend of.. err.. think it was vodka, pineapple, grapefruit and a whole lot of other things tat i cant remember. anyway. nice :D

gosh. feel so fat.. feel so bloated. look like one too. :x

eh eh eh!

one day if i grow really fat, will u fren me? =/ =(

lol!
k la.. im like so freaking tired. need to sleep. but have to finish analysing some scores tat im going to play for thur's rehearsal. my first set of timpani scores. zzz.. coming to tat point, i have a whole lot of new pieces to practise. EXAMINABLE pieces. shit la. new 2-mallet standard repertoire solo etude, new 4-mallet marimba solo, new snare study solo, new piano repertoire solo. and of cox, the new timpani parts for chi ensemble. im in deep trouble le. zzz.

toml.. hmm.. something i nvr thought would happen, will happen. yiheng's band teacher in charge who is in charge of the music o level prog for her sch, asked yiheng and i to be examiners for their practical exam. i really hope i heard him wrongly. yes, hope i HEARD HIM WRONGLY. zzz. im going to bed le.. tireeeeed. choing scores 1st :D nite people!

truth

2008-10-04T02:06:00.001+08:00

knowing the truth always eventually makes me feel better.

okay. bring it on! ^_^

oh gosh. im such an emo shit.

segamat

2008-10-03T23:11:00.003+08:00

im at my aunt's place. tats in segamat, msia, btw. lol.

spent the morning in school. dr lim finally gave me smth more manageble for exam. phew! lol. met the usual gang minus tzehern for lunch. think u can see tat on my facebook? lol. had nydc for lunch. then dad picked me up at 3.30. then its off to my aunt's place.

got here at 7.30. then headed back out for dinner. had asam fish head n alot of other spicy stuff. lol.

wedding lunch's toml. 2pm.

somehow, i feel there's smth wrong with him...

somehow, i feel lost. i dono why. cant be home sick or wat la. i've done this a million times le.
i think i jus wan a hug? n i hope the nxt person i hug will have me in his arms for the rest of his life. i dare not open my heart up again. i fear tat i might jus be looking for a substitute without knowing it. its unfair to the other party. i treat other ppl the way i wan to be treated. i don wanna get hurt by the other party n hence, i wont want to hurt 'him' too.

i dono how long it'll take to get over this matter. im obviously so not over it. its not about how many fishes there are in the sea. is abt lettin go the fish tat's biting ur fingers. in this case, one of my fingers came off already. which fish is gonna be patient enuff to actually make a bionic finger for me?

sillyjam, its time to move on...

outta town

2008-10-02T14:45:00.003+08:00

im sitting at raffles city starbucks with eugene, benjamin and tzehern. eugene's trying to study, benjamin's playing with something on his iPhone, and tze hern's sleeping. as for me, i blogged hopped quite a bit before trying to occupy myself with blogging. haha..

woke up really tired today. not enuff slp. i still feel the mixture of feelings tat i felt yesterday after the encounter at the airport. heh. think i wrote a really long post this morning, considering i only spent an hour there. well, jus shows how much tat instance meant to me rite? =)

did i mention im leaving town soon too? hj left, so am i. LOL. kidding kidding. im leaving toml (fri) afternoon after school. dad's picking me up after school. we're heading to segamat - dad's hometown. his fren's son is getting married. whole family is invited, but mom has to teach n ah wen has to study for Os. i happen to need a getaway too. so i'll tag along lor. haha..

will be back on sunday. probably afternoon or evening. anything, EMAIL me k? i'll try to be on msn for both nites. =)

i haven't packed. shit.

brilliant's departure

2008-10-02T02:01:00.004+08:00

i jus got back from eugene's place. was at the airport to send 'Brilliant' off.

i didnt tell Brilliant tat i was going to the airport. i jus showed up. so i jus walked in to T3 jus before 9.30pm, cox i knew he was taking airbus. n i knew his flight was at 11.30. easily found 'london - heathrow'. headed to check-in counter 3. there were really alot alot alot of ppl. i walked a few rounds. after 20 min of walking n looking out n searching. i gave up. gosh. Brilliant is a tall guy. yet i cant see him. -.-

so i gave him a call. not helpful either. said tat he's going in. said tat its okay. said tat 'better not'. said tat he's inside already. well i didnt take tat for an ans. smth told me he's still near me. i decided to wait at the departure gate. so i jus stood there for like.... 20min? yeah.. slowly see those tat i saw at counter 3 entering the gates. starting to lose hope. but smth still told me he's there. so i decided to make a last round. if i didnt see him, then God probably made tat arrangement. he probably didnt want us to meet afterall. it jus wasnt our fate.

so i slowly walked back to counter 3. looked left, looked right, walked really slowly. then when i turned to look infront, there he was. with his frens n his parents. i jus stood there. like stunned. there he is! then he turned. could tell he was surprised to see me there. we din exchange many words. then i turned n left to avoid him feeling embarrassed. i made a detour back to the gate. saw him exchange his last hugs. i think i saw dawn too. she had her arm in Brilliant's.

he checked in at the counter closest to me, at the right side of the hall. while waiting, he turned, looked at me for a few sec. big smile on his face. big smile but sadness behind tat smile. i gave him my biggest smile i had too. i wanted him to remember the smile he always liked to see on my face. i mean, i really smiled happily, for him. i havent felt sincerly happy for a long time. tat 30sec i watched him was a fully sincere and happy smile. i signaled smth to him. then he smiled somemore. haha.. then i think.. i think ah.. he teared abit? haha.. all his frens waving goodbye to him frantically. could tell he wanted to say more to them. but he had to go le.

i was to meet ben n jacq for supper. but jacq couldnt make it at the last min. so ben came to look for me. while we were still figuring out wat to eat, Brilliant called =). he called, thanked me for being there. i told him things tat i would've told him face to face. but at least he heard those words himself =). i wanted him to noe how i feel.

i realise i cant let go. i've jux been avoiding the whole matter all these while. though i hate to admit, but i feel wat mr nobody said was right. yeah Brilliant might have done a few things tat i wasnt happy with or things tat made me feel tat he betrayed my trust. but tat doesnt mean tat i should label him n sterotype him. see this? this is how far i went.

i've nvr meant to publicise this. but then again, i think i owe some frens some explanation. i mean, i still have my privacy n stuff. im not revealing everything okay. jus the things tat can be revealed. heh. anyway..

i have alot of regrets. ever since that sunday nite tat i couldnt stop crying when mr nobody sort of told me off. i had been debating with myself. should i go? should i not. yeah i could have been looking too much into the matter with dawn or wat was going on in his mind. but it was all my assumption. i was guessing. i din noe the facts.

so yeah, i admit its my fault. its my stubborn temper. its my bad. to be honest, i regret not agreeing Brilliant on fri. its the 2nd time he made that request. yeah i couldnt help feeling tat i was being cheated by him. i couldnt help thinking tat his decision had smth to do with dawn. i couldnt help but feel jealous (hey, showed tat i felt smth for him k). now i cant help but regret tat i hadnt done anything. n all these while i thought i was okay with it. i though i'd put it all behind me. but i didnt.

i felt nervous. my face felt hot. i wanted to see him for the last time. even if he didnt noe i was there, i wanted to see him. i wanted to remember Brilliant the best way i can remember him.

i want Brilliant to be mine n only mine. yeah its gonna be difficult. but i believe love is powerful. it takes 2 hands to clap. so Brilliant, wat do u say? =) or am i jus thinking too much? =( heh..

help

2008-09-28T23:44:00.003+08:00

the feeling's back. im breaking down again.

i love him, i tried my best. then everything jus shattered into pieces.

no i don have to courage to stand up again. who's gonna pick me up? i think i need help soon.

crying myself to sleep...

no one reading blog?

2008-09-28T02:29:00.001+08:00

then again, like no one reading my blog le hor? haix..

no supper

2008-09-28T02:05:00.002+08:00

its 2am in the morning. eugene finally said he cant make it for supper. abt time too. wait until tired le. lol.

haix. like wan talk abt some things yet don wan talk. zzz..

past the point of no return

2008-09-27T02:09:00.003+08:00

'past... the point of no return...'? - phantom of the opera

its gonna take twice as hard to convince me tat i should be with u. no matter who u are. (=

once bitten, twice shy. i told u im affected by it. very affected by it. dont tell me things that wont come true. dont give me false hopes. dont tell me u love me when u dont.

random post 8

2008-09-25T19:09:00.003+08:00

okay i have alot of things to mention.

firstly, msn is super lag today. i have no idea why. in fact, the whole net is super slow. must be the peak-hr flow thingy. its 7.15pm now. yeah im back early...... anyway, its irritating.

secondly, i have a bad feeling abt applying leave to get outta town nxt fri evening. haix...

thirdly, im in a state of shock. i jux confirmed n reconfirmed somethings and i cant believe tat these 'things' do exsist.

fourthly (is there such a word?), im so tired. so sleepy..... zzz...

mom din tell me she wasnt cooking for the nite. so i rejected the dinner offer by steven. shui zhi dao. half dead n hungry state, she tell me she didnt cook. dad was like.. 'eh wan go eat now?' then i was like, okay lor, heat the food up lor. only then dumb dumb realise tat there isn't any food to heat up. -.- anyway, congrats steven for passing ur driving test! :D

ais. i noticed those eyes. i DID but i choose not to read into it. gosh. things happen when u least expect it. i was really... 'bu ke neng de laaaaaa!' but it happened. gosh. still shocked. n its been over such a long time already..... argh........

random statement: i like ppl with dreams. realistic dreams, of cox. lol.

gosh im so stone-d. was at smu's recreation area with tzehern eugene n jacq. ben was there too but left pretty early to head back to school. really stoning le. super tired. tat probably explains why this post is so haphazardly written.

another concert coming up. this is similar to the one on the 3rd sept. but more songs are played. and all the songs im playing are so freaking difficult, im not sure whether i can even get thru the perc ensemble piece. i havent learn to multi-count. LOL. okay at least not at a super fast speed la. haha.. i have no idea why the publicity is not up. anyway..

NAFA Concert Series 08/09
Brass, Percussion and Wind Band
Lee Foundation Theatre
14th Oct 2008 Tuesday
7.30pm (i think)

will update on this again. (=

oh shit, im getting crappier. better stop now. i sooo need to sleep after dinner.. zzz...

its hard to move on, espcially after you.

too good to be true

2008-09-21T04:12:00.000+08:00

sometimes when things get too good to be true, wat do u do? do u enjoy the moment n jus wait n see wat happens next? or do u keep doing reality checks, analyzing wat is the possibility rate of the good dream coming true?

personally, i have already stopped fighting for things tat i want to happen. im very tired of trying hard n failing. yes i admit, its affecting for certain things in school and in work, but im trying hard to split my mind concept on these 2 very different issues. anyway..

if smth happens, it happens. someone asked me (yesterday) : do u intend to have a bf? i paused for a bit. then answered: haha.. if it happens, it happens lor. it doesnt really matter to me anymore.

so when things become too good to be true, i keep my mind really open. cox if its meant to happen, it'll happen. i recently heard a quote: i rather marry someone who loves me more than i love him, becox im already very afraid of getting hurt.

hj made an impact on my life. and hence altered the way i view life. i'll nvr see relationships the same way as i did before i met hj. it doesnt mean anything drastic la. it jus means tat if someone were to come by, it'll take them twice as hard as it used to be, to convince me im the love of their life. tat means, its pretty impossible la. heh.

good nite world. good morning to hell of a I.S. mark's back = oh shit

friday chiong

2008-09-20T02:36:00.002+08:00

today's fri.. jus got home not too long ago..

after piano lesson at nafa, was to meet mr nobody. but he was taking too long. i wanted to practise, but was caught off guard by mr adams using the percussion room to conduct a rehearsal. saw too many obstacles to move the drum out. so decided to gao ding when im home instead.

after hanging around for more than an hour, mr nobody finally arrived at PS at abt 2pm. then he had to do some admin work at the bank. so another hr gone. he asked me to help him up in filling some forms and for tat favour, he said he'll treat me lunch. O.o LOL. so lame. but he later insisted la. lol.

lunch was at swensons. think mr nobody was in good mood. ordered choc fondue, especially when he was still recovering from a cough. he said he decided to not smoke for the day, which he finally didnt keep to. lol. so i guess the choc was the substitute? lol.. okay he probably was really in good mood. he decided to go back to tampines with me, which is like, once in a blue moon. lol.. aaaand, i was joking abt him going back with me. o.o

back in tampines, we walked walked walked and ended up at the GV box office. decided we wanted to catch Money Not Enough 2 in an hour's time. so we bought our tix n headed out of the mall. tats where he started on his 1st cigarette. zzzz -.- chatted for an hour n then headed up le.

Money Not Enough 2 was pretty funny yet heartwarming at the same time. nice show la. but its mostly in hokkien, much to my disadvantage. very singaporean though. hahahha..

mr nobody walked me home after the show. reached home jus before 10pm. then benjamin n jacq n smsed. meet 11.15 at pasir ris mrt. wha win liao. LOL.

so yes, im actually home from 'chionging'. think im a bit high. feeling abit woozy, having quite a bad headache. was thinking how come i can get drunk (although a little) jux by having one glass of volka with orange juice. the last time i drank, it was half the bottle of some kinda peach wine. was totally fine. ben (who drove me home) suggested it was harder liquor. i thought, cannot be ma, one glass only leh. then when i was almost home, i found my ans. i din eat dinner. gosh. wat a strong effect it has on an empty stomach. zzz...

okay im going to bed real soon. really tired le.. zzz...

good nite world :)

cheated again

2008-09-18T21:22:00.001+08:00

wat do u do when u feel cheated again,

and again....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
and again?

random

2008-09-17T00:06:00.002+08:00

spent like 2 hours reading every single review i can find on turandot, online. some were pretty funny, some were pretty harsh n straightforward. others were really encouraging :D

joey's gone for NS and so is lester, a day later..

its hard to live without loving someone. haix.

mr nobody, appreciation dinner

2008-09-14T04:28:00.003+08:00

okay i've been hanging out for 2 nites straight.

friday nite was out with 'mr nobody'. agreed to meet tat nite for dinner, after he was done with work. we were supposed to meet at abt 6 at east coast area. at 5pm, he msg me, saying he owes me a treat; he cant leave till after 8pm. aaaaand, his work place is jurong. gosh. but since mr nobody had ever came aaaaall the way to tampines to meet me for a meal a few mths back, i tot this fren is worth tat little sacrifice. so i headed to jurong east after i was done practising in sch. purposely extended my usual practice time so tat i could kill the extra hours i had to wait for him.

we finally ended up at holland village at around 10? think so. after a really heavy dinner and a long chat. we thought we were heading home already. it was already about 12.30.

somehow, we ended up at east coast park. LOL. so we took a reeeeeeally long walk. finally stopped at area B to sit n chat. it was about almost 2am? yeah around there. sat there n chat till it started to drizzle. then we moved to a nearby pavillion, where someone was slping. lol. we sat till 4am, and was forced to leave. the sky was threatening, and the wind speeds suddenly changed. there was a storm coming. so we headed back towards the cove as fast as we could. we werel pretty wet by the time we reached mac. lol. we decided we wanna grab a bite before heading back, so we had a mac meal each. i met yong lin at tat time. gosh, to bump into a classmate at 4am in the morning is abit.. rare huh. lol.

finally headed home at around 4.30. mr nobody was starting to run a slight fever le. he was already sick cox he lost alot of slp for a few nites. yikes. n he still super nice to me lor. zzz. make me feel guilty only. haiz. he walked me to my doorstep before heading back down to cab home.

so he basically returned a few favours of mine tat nite: treat to dinner, walk at east coast and gave me a hug. yup he owed me these 3 stuff n he duly returned those favours. LOL.

so i went to bed at 6.15am on saturday morning. mr png called and msged me at 8+ tat morning too. he was trying to reach me. he wanted me to head to nanchiau tat morning to tutor the percussion section. wha. not bad huh? call me 1 hr before im needed eh? of cox i din pick up. charging phone = silent-off phone. dont like my phone to wake me up when im asleep. besides, if i were to really be woken up by a ringing phone, i have a really bad response to tat.

anyway, slept till abt 1+ or 2 in the afternoon. mom's students kept me awake for very long. couldnt get back to slp after tat.

saturday's highlight was the ndp appreciation dinner. spent the whole afternoon practising flute and playing abit of the piano. left for candice's place at 5pm. was late for the dinner, but i was the 1st few to be there. apparently, everyone either backed out last minute or was lost somewhere in bedok area. lol. dinner was fun towards the end. there was alot of food left, so we tried to help finish it. we played dai di, using the ranking system. the 'commoner', or the 3rd person to end the games, would have to eat 3 pieces of food from the buffet, usually 2 pieces of chicken drumstick and 1 piece of samosa or spring roll. gosh, i had to do the forfeit for 2 rounds.

then i suggested a change in the forfeit. instead of finishing the food, we had to finish the drink. the fruit punch. we had 2 tumblers of it, and the total estimated amt of drinks we had left was equivalent to tat of one tumbler. can u imagine how much each person drank? the rules were tat the 3rd person to end the game had to drink up 1 cup of fruit punch, the 4th person to have 2 cups. and the last person to have 4 cups. benjamin kept ending the game last. so he had like... 20-odd cups of fruit punch? my god. lol.. i think tze hern did the most forfeit tat night. he had a few rounds of food and also 20-odd cups of fruit punch. i didnt play as much when it came to the fruit punch rounds, had a total of 2 cups only. lol..

when we finally left at 11pm at the lock up time, alan, tzehern and i headed to tampines in ben's car. we caught babylon a.d. at midnite at tampines. the ending was abit 'errr...'. after movie, we considered for quite sometime wat to do nxt. after alot of discussions and contemplates, we dropped by pasir ris park for a while and left at 3am. ben sent alan and tzehern all the way back to the north west side. i decided to keep ben company as i din wan him to fall asleep when he's all alone after sending the 2 guys back.

reached home at4am. had a nice bath and its 5am now. think im really tired already cox i seem to be talking in a funny way. hahha.. had fun today with the gang tat hardly hangs out. hahha...

good nite world.

its over

2008-09-12T01:34:00.004+08:00

11 july 2008 to 11 sept 2008. its a memoriable 2 mths for me.

experienced a roller coaster ride of emotions i've nvr experienced so intensively in my life before. i had determination which never lasted so long before. i nvr loved like this before.

i don wanna try to convince him anymore. it too me mths to complete that gift. if i cant move his heart with that, no use trying anymore le. even if i give up my virginitry for him, its also isnt gonna work cox if he can nvr let go of his ex, he'll nvr be free to love someone else wholeheartedly. im glad i made this surprise trip today cox it made me done smth tat i wanna do mths ago. i've shown to my best ability how far im willing to go for someone i love so much. but if i still cant move the heart of the one i love, then i think i've truely lost to the one he loves.

somehow this time i feel like a stone being lifted from my heart. like i've lost the battle fair n square. yes im upset about it. cant help but sobbed on the way back to tampines. but then again, i've made up my mind tat sept 11 is either make it or break it. since it was broken. i shall leave it as broken. i wont try to mend it already cox it only brings me pain n nth else. i've tried my best. i din make it. i lost. i stood firm 5 times. this time i really lost it.

its over.

relationships

2008-09-09T20:04:00.004+08:00

why is it so difficult to be in an honest, simple, healthy relationship?

im sincere and put in my best for it. but i seem to end up getting hurt.

when will this stop? who's gonna stop it for me?

sobx.

i noe wat i want

2008-09-06T23:47:00.000+08:00

sillyjam knows wat she wants already ^_^

post turandot

2008-09-04T18:10:00.003+08:00

its thursday, 6.10pm now. and i'm at home! :D this is like the 1st time in MONTHS tat im home early? heh.. yay!

turandot production is FINALLY over. whoa. wed was the last show, and yes, it definitely was the best show among the 5. although we also got abit too excited in the beginning, the rest of the opera had alot of really nice acting. finally, we noe wat we're singing. lol. no choir practices for the rest of the year! tat means more time to practise in sch :D

im a little upset tat i had to miss teachers' day celebrations on fri cox of turandot. haix. seeing ex-classmates gathering and presents in their arms around CBD area didnt help much either. haix..

speaking about ex-classmates, i jus got back from prss actually. they had holiday practice today. its the 2nd practice of trying out The Merry Widow. i've seen and heard bands play this before. its not easy. but i haven really tried playing it before. i played one percussion part. and i felt like i was doing shuttle runs. gosh. so tired. there was a section where i had 5 bars of 2/4 time to run from one end (bells) to the middle of the room (bass drum). and cox the trombones kept rushing, sir repeated tat section many times. huanting also had to run. but after trying a few times, she gave up cox she jus couldnt make it in time. so we went thru tat particular section for almost 10 times. it was like practising shuttle run. wha. so tired. the fact tat i was sight reading the mallet parts didnt help either. both 2-mallet and 4-mallet parts had their difficulties. watever it is, it was difficult. and im beat.

had platform concert on wednesday too. i performed a duo with yiang shan. tot it was pretty okay. could have been better though. the band segment.. it was rather.. messy. threanody (is tat how its spelt? lol) was pretty nice. and i still think i look pretty funny, a short small gal trying very hard to reach the top of the chimes to hit them, and stay in tat position for a few minutes. lol. sinfonietta, as usual, my favourite, was all about running about. mr adams told the audience to not mind the percussion running about. hello, i'm the only one running about lor. cox it seems like im the only one who has time and needs to run about. anyways, it was a good concert. not fantastic, but good. benjamin huang turned up. lol.. he was invited by samatha. i was really looking forward to hj turning up too. but then.. haix nvm. saturday's nearing le ^_^

omg! im so sorry jia jun. i noe i promised u to come up with a composition. gosh, im so dead. deadline's toml. ahhhhh... u noe the best part? i havent even started......

turandot 2 down, 3 to go

2008-08-31T15:13:00.003+08:00

2 shows down. 3 more to go. i finally have sometime to talk abt wat has happened. actually, i've been updating all the while rite? so not tat bad la hor? lol..

yesterday was show 2. SSO was having a concert 'next door' at the concert hall. jon offered me a free ticket to the concert, but i had turandot to sing to. so i told him i cant go, but can meet him backstage. lol.. guess wat, i really did meet him backstage. like, bumping into him. and he was like O.O i wan a picture with u. lol.. after talking for almost 10 min, i almost left when i saw mark. and he too was really, stunned O.O lol.. he said he prefered my outfit than his. LOL.

all the photos tat i have from turandot are now in face book. its abit difficult to upload all here.. so.. go to facebook! :D

soon soon soon!

platform concert

2008-08-30T04:28:00.002+08:00

im performing in school again:

NAFA Platform Concert
Featuring Brass, Woodwind and Percussion
Lee Foundation Theatre (@NAFA)
12.30pm
Free admission

i'm performing. 2 items.. the percussion ensemble and a band piece. super short concert, about an hour long only. the band's playing my current favourite piece though. :D lol.. come watch!!

today was turandot's opening gala. well i thought the 1st act was abit shaky, when it used to be the most stable of all. i think everyone was too excited. we really wanted to 'kill' (moja, in Italian) and hence, sang so loud tat the orchestra could hardly be heard from up there on the stage. think yeh tsung did freak out abit. cox many of us were so confident (like we always were in every rehearsal) tat we din look at him. zzz.. sometimes too into character also not very good eh? lol..

1 show down, 4 to go. a mth of sleep to catch up with. zzz.. eugene said i've been looking terrible lately, jux tat dono how to tell me... okay.. must be really terrible then... haixx..

happy birthday eugene :)

turandot

2008-08-28T00:25:00.003+08:00

today's first full dress rehearsal. toml's the 2nd and final one. yesterday's the semi-dress rehearsal. gosh, how i hate makeup.

photos photos photos.. im so tired.. down with flu cox i strained my voice yesterday. sing too much. zzz. ehhh.. not bad already okay, considering i've been singing non-stop for 2 weeks and i get sore throat only now. but still.. abit too near to actual performance la =(

tats the 'principal' at the back, in blue. its not really blue la. its actually black. but the cam n lighting makes it look blue. haha..

one of my favourite composers - fei yang

this is almost the whole class..

this is the semi-dress rehearsal.

i miss him very very much.

everything, hj

2008-08-26T01:08:00.004+08:00

there's so many things i told myself tat im gonna talk abt in my blog, but i didnt. so i'll talk abt ALL of them today.

for a start, i probably mentioned a gazillion times tat im having a packed mth. super super packed. u wan take a look at my planner? its all black - full of pencil marks, tat is. heh. but after 3rd sept, everything is so clean. gosh. really really clean. or maybe its jux bcox i havent written anything inside -.-
anyway, term break's 6th sept to 13th sept. things to not look forward to is make-up sight singing classes with dr goh and sunday lessons (OMG). things to look forward to, ndp appreciation dinner. kena sabohed to be in planning committee. gosh. as if im not busy enuff.

anyway.. photos photos photos.
photos were taken by variety of ppl and cameras. so some are pretty good quality, some u need to squint abit. lol. enjoy ppl :)

firstly, turandot.
this is the twins and i during the final rehearsal at rehearsal studio. i finally learnt how to tell them apart. haha... the one on the left is sophie, the younger one. clara's the elder sis. if i pin my hair up, i'll look like their sista. no kidding. wont post tat photo up though =p

oh my gosh. this is esplanade theater, from the stage. those ppl u see in front are the soloists.

random photos.. spot me!

this is supposed to show how big the stage is... but guess u cant see well rite? nvm la. squint! =x

NIE! reached there early for lesson 3. this is the surroundings of nie...

u noe army camps are ulu and filled and surrounded with trees and more trees? i feel nie is this way too. army training come out become ORD men. NIE students come out go battle in classrooms. zzz.. very encouraging hor? -.-

this is the funny one:

was out for lunch with tzehern, eugene and jacq. tze hern had a 'name card' which is actually a piece of paper containing his contact for his lecturer cox he volunteered to be the class rep. so he tried to rid the paper by shoving it into my hands. n then i told him i wanted to go to the ladies, and asked him to hold on to it 1st. he refused. so i said i'll paste it on the mirror in the toilet so everyone can see! 2 emails and 1 contact number written on tat piece of paper. so i went in, dabbed a little water on to the full length mirror n stuck the piece of paper onto the mirror. n then i took tat photo. went out, showed him the photo and scared the shit outta him. lol..

he msged me at 10.42pm. he's back.

had a long thought while on the way home. i felt i have changed alot in the past 2 mths. 11th july was a pretty miraculous day for me. not jus becox mario was a great success, but also tat the success came as a surprise to me and both frens and foes. it was smth tat i never expected to happen when i stayed up weeks to finish writing the ensemble. anyway, tats not my point. my point is, 11th july was a day tat i found someone tat i've nvr been so crazy about. it was a day tat i found someone whom taught me wat love really is.

but of cox it comes with a price. when things don work out, or for some reason, don seem to work out, i got very frustrated. all of a sudden, i jux changed into the optimistic and cheerful gal into someone who is mentally drained. i used to be the one who keeps thinking tat i should take it easy, at a slow pace. and as a result, i broke quite a few ppls' hearts. i decided it will take me sometime to break the ice tat i have formed around my heart. in a way, its protecting me from falling so deep tat i can get up to realise tat the story between me and a certain 'him' wont come true. at the same time. i din wanna look like i was 'playing around' cox i hate to do tat. i don wan someone to do tat to me jus as much as i don wanna do it to them.

and when i finally met someone im ready to break the ice for, i asked if he was serious about it. he said yes. i warned him if im breaking the ice, it'll take forever to form again. cox its being warmed. and yes, spore IS a very warm place. well anyway, it was broken. by him. and guess wat. i had no bloody idea wat the hell happened, and seemed like his gas pipe refused to get unclogged to to let gas feed the flame. he wanted to turn the gas tap off. so of cox the heart is like raw, bare and hurt.

gosh, im feeling sleepy already.

my weakest point is falling in love with someone. i don fall in love easily. but when i do, i don fall outta love as easily either. i may have a short temper, a short patience, a short height, but my love for someone will always last as long as i see no reason to give up my love for him.

how much clearer do i need to explain myself?

go to bed la sujuen. he probably doesnt want u anymore. tats why he pushed u away.

is tat wat i want? certainly not. is tat wat u want? is tat wat WE want?

im very tired of falling in and outta love already. really very tired. whether this works out or not, it'll probably be my last for quite some time.

don tell me it takes time and i'll get over it. i noe myself better than tat. don delude urself jux bcox u wanna give up a dream tat partly belongs to someone else.

su juen, jus shut up and go to bed la.

feeling smth

2008-08-24T17:07:00.002+08:00

actually, i felt smth at 4am this morning, while walking home.

suddenly, it jus seems so calm.

bu hui ba?!!

this is it?

2008-08-24T05:11:00.000+08:00

so i guess, this is it?

dinner with tze hern

2008-08-22T01:34:00.005+08:00

its 1.30 in the morning. and i feel like getting down to work to write a song. su juen, u're crazy.

had dinner and a long talk with tze hern. he shared with me alot of things tat gave me a different perspective about things in life. he probably dono im feeling this way, but, thanks tze hern. and ur hands' really small :x eh.. i have proof ok... look at this:

haha! taken while waiting for debrief to start, during national day preview. the other person who's hand is slightly smaller than mine is edgar's. but he's jus slightly bigger in size than i am. so the one tat facinates me the most, is still tze hern's hands. lol.. he was a commando during NS, so u can expect wat kinda built he has. and the with hands like tat.. it becomes the joke of the ndp logistics team. lol.. okay enuff said. if not he'll beat me up later :x

24th/25th is getting awfully close. and the vivala recording is out soon. probably get it toml. there're more and more things which remind me of him. this is getting really difficult.

the long talk with tze hern reminded me tat im someone who cant take negatives for an answer. as in, if u say 'no' to me, i cant take it for an answer, unless u are able to convince me why u said 'no'. J was one example. he jus turned around one day and said 'no', and then severe all ties with me. like, wat the hell does tat mean? it took me almost a year to put the whole matter behind me. and then there's HJ. come on la. he made me so crazy and then he said 'no' also. although he tried to explain, im still not convinced. but all i wan is to have my loved ones be happy. tats why i do things their way. but ultimately, im the one who's feeling all sore cox i don understand and hence, cannot forget the fact tat smth hadn't gone the way i hoped it would and tat it meant alot to me.

i mentioned this bcox tzehern unconsciously gave me a reason to give up smth tat i was looking for a reason to give up on. cant catch wat i jus said? read slower lor. if still cant get it, nvm. u're probably tired.

tzehern, i must say, is a very patient lover. he makes a lot of sacrifices and stick firmly to his beliefs when things go wrong. when tempers fly and frustrations are vented, he always manages to think in many many different perspective, and then evaluate how he should handle the situation. but wat impresses me most is still his patience for the one he really loves and the humility he put himself in for her sake.

how i wish it would have gone this way...... haix..

lester and tzehern keep telling me there're still nice guys out there and tat i'll find one myself. but the thing is, how often do u see someone as the 'beauty' in ur eyes? its not everyone who is ur type will fall in love with u and u fall in love with him. get it? no? suan le.

im starting to talk in circles. i should slp.

tze hern, lester and hj

2008-08-21T01:35:00.002+08:00

did i mention im finally thru with both my presentations? it also means i've completed part of the band directing module. all in the midst of turandot saga. gosh. it was tough mann. all the lack of slp and heartache and headaches. like finally thru le la.

i keep having butterflies in my stomach. now tat lookit's left, i cant help but keep being reminded of 24th/25th. im feeling worse tat i did. i thought i got abit more settled already but looks like its getting worse. =( how?

have been meeting tze hern for the whole week. tats the good thing abt smu and nafa. its so near tat u can meet up for almost all ur meals O.O lol.. he funny guy la. lol..

was out with lester for the 2nd late night. he still cant get over his heartache, and i share his sorrows with him. so we're like 2 sad ppl. heh. all i told him was look at the bright side of things.... blah blah... in which, a gave an example. watever happened between hj and i din go well and might not ever go well. but i chose to remember the sweeter memories we had. it was short-lived, but it was the few happiest moments of my life.

i cant help it but be reminded by everything tat he's back soon.

deprived of sleep

2008-08-20T02:06:00.002+08:00

haven been sleeping well since last week. in fact, haven been sleeping well all month. either not enuff slp, or cant slp. whichever it is, i am deprived of sleep. luckily the day starts later toml. if not. i really will collapse. and not as if got someone to take care of me.

loo kit's flying off in a few hours. take care mann.. u'll be missed =) loo kit flying off means a day nearer to someone returning. why am i still talking abt this?

sometimes i really feel like Liu, a character in Turandot.

u noe, u should watch Turandot if u fancy a touching love story. don worry, there're subtitles to help u through the language. AND, u can laugh at me on stage... the most expensive tickets are selling fast, or isit already sold out? either one la. if u wan tickets, go sistic get it quick! if not, lemmi noe lor. okay, other than Turandot publicity...

3rd Sept platform concert
i am performing a percussion duo with yiang shan!
12.30 at NAFA's LFT.
come watch okaaay. its free.

there's percussion ensemble on 24th Oct, where im performing the same program. but is a concert with the band la. 24th is a day after his bdae. haix.

im feeling so dead. feeling so tired.. of 'life'. haix....

week forecast

2008-08-19T01:37:00.003+08:00

wan see my schedule this week?

monday 1808: band directing presentation on building leaderships. school's 9am - 8pm
tuesday 1908: NIE presentation on any topic. school's 9am to 10pm (includ turandot rehearsal)
wednesday 2008: sch 12.30 to 6pm
.
.
.
.
blah blah blah
.
.
.
turandot rehearsals from friday 2208 till wed 0309 (except 2408), every night. yes u read it right. every SINGLE night. gosh. this really my 'nightlife' already. zzz..

other highlights are:
loo kit flying off on 20th aug.
smth happening on 24th or 25th aug also. dono if i should remember tat date or not.
wind, brass, percussion platform on 3rd sept. i'm performing. only one piece though. admission's free at NAFA, 12.30. btw, its a wednesday.

in the last post, i wanted to say tat i felt someone missing me. anyway, i miss him. help.

random post 7

2008-08-17T02:41:00.002+08:00

actually wanted to blog, then lost the mood to do so, then decided to jus do it. so here i am.

rehearsal was boring today. alot of focus on the 'beating up' scene. im not one of the 'beaten' ones, tats why i was so bored.
turandot is fun already. u guys should watch. its not tat difficult to understand actually. lol

i'll continue another day. some things cannot say here. heh.

lookit chalet.

2008-08-16T16:37:00.003+08:00

had super long day yesterday.

started with keyboard skills in school in the morning. then rushed to meet samatha and the gals to celebrate her birthday. left a little earlier to meet tze hern and benjamin to cab to tampines, after they've bought loo kit's gift. went to teach/help prss band on the request of sir's. expected to do more but nth much was happening. nvm. then at 4.30, rushed back to school for sight singing class at 5pm. sightsinging was halved. cox dr goh wanted us at the visitor's centre for rehearsal an hour from then. so we had quick dinner and then headed to VC. most of the main cast were there, so we did the 1st and half of the 2nd act. the directed overtimed again. relieased close to 11pm. alysha was heading to downtown and so was i. so we shared cab, cox she was in a rush. so i reached lookit's chalet at about.. 11++pm ba. lol. not many ppl were left, all ndp ppl. all of the log team, except eliz, was there. so the whole lot of us chatted for hours nxt to the pit. talked about almost everything. then it was abt 1am already? ya, around there. everyone settled into the room to play/sleep/watch olympics/chat. eugene and jacq left quite late in the nite.. abt 2am i think? ben n i didnt decide to stay over. neither were we prepared to stay over. but we did... stayed till 7am. lol! i collapsed into slumber at abt 5.30am. zzz. was woken up many times for many reasons. but then finally woke up to leave at about 7.30am. tze hern was also leaving, so alan walked us out. ben came to pick tze hern up as his family was heading to toa payoh, where tze hern lives. i thought of catching the direct bus home. then i changed my mind, alan flagged a cab for me. lol..

went to bed at 8.15am. slept till abt noon. and decided i cant go choir like tat. kneeling down would be sleeping soundly. lol. so, i fell back into bed and needless to say, i overslept la. so here i am. finally awake. going off to bugis soon to meet alysha for dinner n then go for 2nd half of choir practice.

suppose to get esplanade passes today. my 1st esplanade pass. and its to an opera production. gosh. nvr dreamed of tat.

shall be more dressed down today...

i wanna sleep.

oh btw. i dreamt of hj. how is this going to work for me?!! =(

jia you

2008-08-15T02:51:00.001+08:00

busy weekend ahead. sillyjam must jia you! cox he's not there to keep u going anymore...

sleepy

2008-08-15T01:42:00.001+08:00

gosh. i need slp. too much fun today... zzz.. and im gonna miss this fun cox after next week, loo kit wont be part of it already. and i think a mth's nightmare is waiting for me. haix..

but i wont go to bed, at least till i've put my ideas for my 2 presentations; one on monday, the next on tuesday, down in words ;)

not helping

2008-08-14T02:19:00.001+08:00

if u mean wat u say, then it ain't gonna help if u keep reminding me how much i love you.

agony

2008-08-13T19:59:00.003+08:00

ARGH!!

im giving up.

its only been 24 hrs, and im in agony already.

recurring nightmare

2008-08-12T22:11:00.001+08:00

why does this always have to happen? its jus like a recurring nightmare.

love

2008-08-12T18:26:00.003+08:00

wat does it mean to love someone? to me, its abt finding someone perfect, despite his short-comings. to me, its about respecting someone for who he is, and his views and opinions of life. to me, its abt trusting and believing in someone no matter wat happens. to me, its about giving in to someone so long it doesnt go against my will. to me, its about going thru the thick and thins of a relationship together, be it distance or understanding one another.

when i say i love you, i mean i find u perfect, despite ur short-comings and 'imperfections'. when i say i love you, i mean i respect u for who u are, ur views and opinions of life. when i say i love you, i mean i trust and believe in u, no matter where u are, or wat happens. when i say i love you, i mean i'll give in to u so long it doesnt go against my will and principles. when i say i love you, i mean i want to go thru the thick and thins, the difficult and happy times of a relationship together, be it distance or understanding one another. when i say i love you, i mean i wanna spend the rest of my life with u.

when u say u love me, i hope u mean it. to fall in love is always a bliss. but to fall out of love isnt tat simple. i hope i didnt misplace my trust, i really do. oh wait, did u even say u love me?

don ask me to forget abt it. cox if u wanted me to, u wouldnt have turn around then. when i make a decision, i wont turn around. u said i was stubborn. well, tats how stubborn i really am.

threw up

2008-08-11T22:40:00.001+08:00

i m home. threw up on the way home. felt muvch better after throwing up. but its back again. gosh. wats happening? not food poisoning i hope? then all nafa-ians will be at risk. cox the chicken rice i ate is in the heart of nafa. or isit jus tat orange juice and chicken rice don go well? watever it is, im not doing well. ugh...

post ndp and turandot

2008-08-11T00:27:00.004+08:00

gosh.. my shoulders are sore. worse than preview, if u read the last posts. felt like a rusty machine today. lack of sleep + aching shoulders + 7 hours of turandot = shag. almost couldnt wake up today. super tired.

turandot is getting fun. oh btw, im not jus singing for the opera. acting too. gosh. difficult to get the words right. its ITALIANO. lytt how to perform? zzz. anyway, the only thing i hate abt this is the long practice hours and the fact tat its in italian. lol. 1st show's on 29th aug, or isit 30th? ah, one of those luh :x

ok, i shall go to bed. ;)

national day

2008-08-10T03:35:00.002+08:00

ok some compulsories....

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO LAW FATT!! (080808)
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO SINGAPORE!! (090808)
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO RAY!! (090808)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CARIEEEEE!! (100808)

wha.. 4 birthdays in 3 days.. lol..

friday's rehearsal was good. the director was really, a director lor. lol.. as in, he could really play out the whole opera in his mind, describe to all of us the emotion he wants. how we should move, feel and react, and even the minute details like who wears wat and holds wat prop.
we did the whole of act one O.O

there's rehearsal toml. or rather, later. yes, rehearsal on sunday. 3-10pm somemore. wha lao. zzz.. i better get to slp soon. i got a feeling he's doing act two for the sunday rehearsal. im like, so dead le. havent memorised the words. argh.

monday's percussion sharing, and i havent run-thru in my mind how i wanna do it. i've done it many times le, but still, need to rehearse in my mind de rite? anyway, its sharing, not presentation. so its more informal. lol..

so im back from national day parade. like, finally! lol.. met up at 10am to get water for the volunteers. wanna guess how many bottles? 1200 bottles. tats 100 cartons. and our manpower? at 10am, it was 3 ppl - loo kit, eliz and i. siao rite? collection point is benjamin shears bridge. GOSH. but the CQ took soooo long tat the others arrived. so we split the job. i went with the guys to help move water. and in the end, i ended up standing aside watching them move. cox the army guys were around, and they seemed to have phobia of allowing females to do the 'physical work'. lol..
anyway.. lunch, and then breifing. after being 11min late of submitting attendance, and counting almost 5 times to get the correct figures, loo kit and i calculated today's attendance was about 96%!! whaaa.. haven seen such a high figure for long time le. lol..
so.. today was alot more physical work done in all the 5 shows i've done. also one of the most fun, most dirty and most smelly days i've had. probably cox there were a few different things in the show itself, the many many movement of water and food, and the clearing of 3 boxes of after-dinner rubbish and 3 bags of trash, all by myself cox ben and tze hern accidentally tore one of the boxes so badly tat all the food scraps came falling out. as tze hern say, after tonite, i'll become much stronger. thanks to all the movements. zzz.. think serious shouder ache more like it luh.. T.T
airshow was also longer than the usual ones, and fireworks display, although similar every year, is different tonite cox i kept smiling at the thought tat kept coming into head. ^_^

i had 3 tickets. somehow, 3 tickets. not only 1 tat i used to mention. 2 went to xing you, 1 for sir. saw them at the parade. haha..

the show finished at 9pm. crowded cleared in 15 min.. then there was alot of cheering and photo-taking. and in short, i left the promenade at past midnite with a funpack. it was off to final supper with everyone else.

after 2 hours of chatting/eating/gossiping/discussing... finally headed home. hitched a ride from kenneth and got home 10 min before 3am. din realise i was so tired until i finally plonked down in my seat after a much-needed bath. gosh. so sleepy.. u see my paragraphs getting shorter and shorter? LOL..

turandot in 11 hrs time. i want to sleep. zzz...

photos will be up when i recieve them :)

IQ test

2008-08-08T02:34:00.001+08:00

facebook says my IQ's 133. cannot be rite? hj already 118 leh.. O.o

dip perf, sch, and him

2008-08-08T00:39:00.004+08:00

someone complained i didnt blog. lol.. not didnt blog luh. thinking of HOW to blog. language isn't exactly my 'killer' weapon. so.. must put some thought to it rite? hehhe..

anyway..

hmm.. hasn't been fantastic these few days. especially the moment where i slipped and fell in the kitchen. hit my left butt and shoulder real hard. was sore and dazed for a few minutes. but i was lucky not to fall in the toilet. consequences would be worse.

school's been messy. im talking abt the timetables. rehearsals shifted around, lessons changed, re-arrangement of classes. gosh. feels like its never ending. if nafa has to improve one thing in the academy, it would be the admin system. really. zzz. ok time to stop complaining.

hmm.. about 14 days more to the return. getting impatient le.. zzz.. distance relationships are never easy to maintain. but i believe with trust, confidence and love for one another, it'll work out jus fine. :) its tough, but its not impossible. i may not read law, but i believe tat we shape and write our own laws in relationships. am i talking too much? yeah think so. shhh..

should i go for trinity/abrsm performance diploma? or try competitions 1st? nafa's concerto competition ma? hmmm... any suggestions/advice? came across this youtube video, thought this piece is pretty cute.. haha.. Koppel's marimba concerto, 3rd movement. here's the link: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=nwpfaW6YZxA

im definitely not myself lately.. even this post is abit perculiar.. excited? of cox! restless? obviously. cant wait la. lol.. sillyboy.

truckloads of love.

all i ask of u

2008-08-04T23:27:00.004+08:00

i've always been a big fan of The Phantom of The Opera. its a musical, not an opera. lol.. so of cox, i love the sound tracks, and this is one tat i cant get outta my head. i finally decided to look up the lyrics. enjoy ;)

No more talk of darkness,
forget these wide-eyed fears;
I'm here, nothing can harm you,
my words will warm and calm you.
Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry your tears;
I'm here, with you, beside you,
to guard you and to guide you.

Say you'll love me ev'ry waking moment;
turn my head with talk of summertime.
Say you need me with you now and always;
promise me that all you say is true,
that's all I ask of you.

Let me be your shelter, let me be your light;
you're safe, no one will find you,
your fears are far behind you.

All I want is freedom,a world with no more night;
and you, always beside me,
to hold me and to hide me.

Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime;
let me lead you from you solitude.
Say you need me with you, here beside you,
anywhere you go, let me go too,
that's all I ask of you.

Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime.
Say the word and I will follow you.

Share each day with me, each night, each morning.

Say you love me...

You know I do.

Love me, that's all I ask of you.

Anywhere you go let me go too
Love me...that's all I ask of you.

ahh.. im still having aching shoulders. especially the left shoulder blade. its so.. ARGH! lor.. zzz..

all i want, is to be with u. (:

post ndp preview

2008-08-03T21:03:00.002+08:00

i woke up pretty late today. had to entertain some stalker... anyway... collapsed into bed at 5+ in the morning, when i really couldnt stay awake anymore. slept till 3+pm today.
haven been sleeping well since tuesday nite.

woke up with my body aching all over. especially the left arm. i think i really chionged yesteday le. carry food, carry water, carry rubbish. walk up walk down, walk here walk there.

i don think i can do this anymore. sometimes i thought it was an exaggeration by saying it only happened now. but i don think so anymore. i really cant do it. its been five long and miserable days. im exausted of trying. i've been like a totally different person already.

i read the blog. coming back! i din noe whether to be happy or not. i dono if we should meet. i dont noe if we meet and i decided i wan it my way and he still stays on his stand. a few more posts back, there was a certain dawn. saw the photos. something sour was penetrating thru me. my gosh, i was actually, jealous. gosh. jealous leh. i don get jealous easily de lor. im changed already. gosh.

so wat else can this prove? think i got my point across already. im giving up, on giving up.

preview

2008-08-03T03:00:00.002+08:00

so.. im back from ndp preview.. its was great! erm.. ok la, not all the time of cox.

so i got du lan-ed at again, like the 1st NE show, but i sort of rebutted back until 'he' didnt have much to say. n then i tried offering 'him' a packet of H2O. then the ice was broken le. lol.. well, don talk to me like tat. if u think its a bloody easy job, then pls go do it urself nxt week.

am tired.
physically and mentally. had a few blisters on right foot, which leds me to think tat i have a slightly bigger right foot then the left. O.o lol.. feels tat way luh..

tze hern made me share the 'bf story' on the 'last 2'. brought back alot of memories, which mostly, are sour ones.
sometimes when u want smth, u really have to fight for it. its not always 'let nature take it's course'.

haix. i dono wat to do with u le... :( gosh.

ah. am talking rubbish again? maybe. zzz..

bad day

2008-08-01T00:42:00.002+08:00

bad day bad day

tuesday nite was a nightmare. jux, don ask ok. if not i guranttee u'll be screwed.

wednesday headed to sch with slightly swollen eyes. was very moodless. gave choir a miss n stayed to play around with instruments. 70% of the time, stoning.
then it was aural class. alysha saw me along the corridor at the lift lobby. she gave a long, big hug. thanks gal. really :). held back tears.
we did melodic dictation for aural. i kept missing the notes by a tone. frustrating.

so im being very short tempered, very annoyed all the time, very moody, very stone. die la. had very hard time controlling my temper. screwed james the new section leader, and snapped at YanTT the 'stalker'. gosh. argh....

its very hard to forget and jus put everything behind. a large part of me doesn't wan to do tat either. the end came faster than i thought. i thought i was pretty prepared. i was very careful with all my decisions and thought thru them upteen times before i set my heart on the course.

and then i fell. fell in love, tat is. fell hard. fell strong. fell deep. so deep tat i knew i cant stand up if smth went wrong. only someone can pick me up.

im just...

im just...

heartbroken.

shattered heart

2008-07-30T00:06:00.002+08:00

my 6th sense told me smth was wrong. and i had a strong feeling about it. but i chose to believe. i chose to believe u felt the same.

it came to a point where its no longer about me, it became all about u. it came to a point where it was not wat i wanted, it was wat u wanted. it came to a point where it wasn't about whether i believed, it was about whether u believed. it came to a point where it wasn't about whether im willing to sacrificed, it was about whether u were willing to do so.

it came to a point where i was head over heels with u.

i loved you.

i dont think i want to continue this post any more.

my blog's dead now. at least until i feel like blogging again.

guy, pls don ask. jus don ask. i noe i've nvr been so open and nvr behaved so weirdly before. but please, jus don ask.

thanks a million.

prss band investiture 2008

2008-07-26T21:58:00.002+08:00

today's my lucky day.
1) no NE show, so i can go for band investiture.
2) good weather
3) almost overslept investiture cox did prezze n cards till 6am in the morning.
4) was running fever throughout prize presentation.
5) invited to make short speech.
6) had terrible sore throat tat u'll believe me when i say i belong to the tenors in choir. and i still had to do the speech.

gosh. i still feel terrible. sometimes, i really hate singing. zzz..

anyway, in short, james and syahin are the section leaders while oscar's the asst. i cant remember everyone's post cox i wasnt paying much attention - hey, i had a burning head ok. i can only remember tat danny's one of the CM. hasinah's band commandant! :D

for me, i got the best alumni award and promoted to 2 warrent officer, and i need to sleep. zzz.. gosh.. feeling so weak...

after investiture, went to hougang to meet the NDP gang for hidaya's bdae surprise. luckily they didnt stay too long. if not i'll be burning whole day toml. oh no. jux remembered. im supposed to practise toml in school, evening time. zzz.. i really hope i'll be well enuff. on a brighter side, nxt week is pretty slack as the lecturers are overseas and many lessons are cancelled. so, i can afford to be on MC cox the lessons im supposed to attend are cancelled anyway. zzz.. see how luh hor? i also need to get well before preview. if not i die also. :x

okay enuff talking, see photo ok? im putting all tat i have up here ;) happy investiture and congrats to everyone :D (WARNING: 44 photos hor. =P)

prezze from me to the others..

photos of ppl and i, i and ppl, ppl n ppl.

my cert:

my prezze:

huge card from sec 2s and 3s of perc section, red prezze for best alumni, huge wrapped thing from xingyou, signed mario conductor score, card from weijie and farhan, my own egg shakers tat i finally brought back. lol..

okay now, really need to go rest le. zzz.. ^_^

i miss my dear..

left brain, right brain

2008-07-20T23:04:00.001+08:00

got this from xiner's blog.

my guess was tat i was more right-brained. hey if im not, i sorta chose the wrong career path rite? lol..

You Are 35% Left Brained, 65% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.
Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.
Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.
Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.
If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.
Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

ne show 3

2008-07-20T00:35:00.002+08:00

im back from ne show 3. so far, the worst weather encounted in the shows.

rained on n off throughout the afternoon and at nite. it was like the weather showing no mercy to the P5 kids and it jus came pouring down hard on them. the performers were pretty enthu, jus carry on with the show as if there was a roof over them..

i was, of cox, wet from head to toe. i finally gave up my poncho to the volunteers as they threw their's away during dinner time. the largest pour, i thought, was during finale, where the fireworks and singing national anthem n all. i was standing beside jareth. so we had like water dripping down below our chins. lol..

i got screamed at by an MOE personnel. its difficult to explain wat happened here, in words, so if u wanna noe then ask me personally lor hor? lol.. but watever happened, i think the moe personnel like to talk alot, n do nth. kns.

ANYWAY

my favourite moment today, was during finale, n which i think, poured the hardest today - strong wind, heavy rain and all.. n all the p5 kids were singing the national anthem n reciting the pledge so loudly and unanimously. =D oohh.. i love singapore..

mr patriotic? i miss you.. ^_^

room sort-out and mark

2008-07-17T22:18:00.003+08:00

hmm.. was woken up by mom at 1pm today. went to bed only at 5am this morning. talked to hj till he had to go, n then collapsed back into bed till about 4pm.

decided to watch late nite movie if can find kaki, but no one. so decided my room needs cleaning up. ok la, not cleaning up, more like sorting out. cox alot of scores around, n i don wanna wait till i graduate to file them up. if not the pile will look like mount everest already.

anyway.. its already done, not becox i was fast, but cox i ran out of transparent holders, and ran out of files. hmmm. xingyou asked me out for shopping..

my shopping list for sunday:
1) 2 files: 1 for piano, 1 for percussion
2) more transparent holders
3) mechanical pencil, if i still cant find mine at heartware office. argh!

think tats all i need for now ba.. :)

oh gosh, sunday's 1st lesson with mark suter, and i DONT NOE wat to show. argh... exam piece ma? levenson? rothman? wha lao. duno duno.. going school toml to figure out.. *nervous*

vivala V

2008-07-16T20:12:00.002+08:00

ok i've been really mean, nvr update for Vivala V. but hey, i was waiting for as many photos as possible to come in ok. lol

Vivala was a great success! audience was pratically screaming for 2 hours - throughout the concert. mario was superb! i had alot of good comments from frens and members of other bands. haha..

photos....

during rehearsal... not very clear though..

cheryl and i. she was sir's PA tat day. LOL.

the frens from nafa... thanks guys for coming!! :D

steven and the HUGE sunflower

the long-time-no-see boon kiat

mr pisit and i...

the mario mushroom - everyone wanted mine :p

bouquet of roses from the school, sunflower from steven, soft toy flower from dajie, photo with message behind from weijie, green thank you card from the perc section, tolberone and wrapped merci choc from sir, eeyore from nafa mates, mario hat and prog booklet mine. haha.. :D

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR SUPPORTING PRSS BAND! :D

money money money

2008-07-09T23:34:00.002+08:00

OH!

AND PEOEPLE OWE ME $154 WORTH OF TICKETS!

so it's $167.70 + $154 + $100 = $421.70

tat amount is 2 times more than wat i have left in my bank account.

shit.

200th post

2008-07-09T15:24:00.002+08:00

this is my 200th post! so maybe i should blog abit more... 'substantial' stuff rite? lol..

yes i noe i've been crapping alot on the blog. more like throwing alot of rubbish into it? lol.. okay i'l be a nice blogger today..

the weeks have gone by quickly, and painfully. there're always 2 things on my mind these days: viva la musica 5, and NDP 08.

the first NE show was on the 5th. err.. okay la, jux alot of miscommunications between the army and us. well, first time la. hahha..

viva la musica 5. tickets all sold out le. haha.. lets hope its really a full house huh.. haha..
yesterday was a pretty nervous nite for me. haha.. after band, a few of us went hunting for red caps and materials to make the 'M' sign for mario. we walked all over tampines mall and century square, and couldn't find anything. it was too late to send for print caps as the shops need at least a week or 2 to send for printing. but luckily, we could use badges. so we print the 'M's on to the badges n pin them onto red caps! haha.. cost a total of$167.70 for 13 sets of caps and badges.

:D

i paid everything 1st -.- tats $12.90 per person.

when is the planning committee going pay me back for eugenie's bdae prezze huh? $100 leh. -.-

so now im like, so broke. its gonna take a miracle to survive on my own till the end of the mth. of cox, provided these ppl pay me back. lol..

quiz2

2008-07-08T14:32:00.000+08:00

u noe, u don have to read all these u noe.. lol..

QUIZ 3

Your result for The Attachment Style Test...

The Waffler

40% Anxiety Over Abandonment and 41% Avoidance Of Intimacy

You're not the most decisive person. You tend to be unsure what you want out of your attachments, and it's unlikely you've had more than mediocre relationships. You vacillate between trust and mistrust, and between low and high self-esteem. You probably have a couple of good friends who support you and believe in you, but you tend not to let things get too heavy. You like to sit on fences.

Fictional character with whom you might identify: Xander (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Amelie (Amelie)

Other Attachment Types:
Secure:	The Unicorn	The Cuddleslut	The Free Agent
Preoccupied:	The Cling Wrap	The Squid	The Insect
Fearful:	The Doormat	The Leper	The Exile
Dismissing:	The Hermit	The Stone	The Player
Confused:	The Waffler

Take The Attachment Style Test at

quiz1

2008-07-08T13:46:00.000+08:00

QUIZ 1

Your result for The Relationship Problem-Solving Test...

Aggressively Right

You scored 79% Confrontational and 75% Logical!

You're right and you're going to fight for it-- just make sure you don't fight too hard if your partner is timid. You'll work great with someone else of the same type, since you'll both fight hard for the most logical solution to every problem.

Your matches: Aggressively Right, Assertive and Right

Take The Relationship Problem-Solving Test at

QUIZ 2

Your result for The Personality Defect Test...

Emo Kid

You are 43% Rational, 0% Extroverted, 0% Brutal, and 0% Arrogant.

You are the Emo Kid, best described as a quiet pussy! You tend to be an intuitive rather than a logical thinker, meaning you rely more on your feelings than your thoughts. Not only that, but you are introverted, gentle, and rather humble. You embody all the traits of the perfect emo kid. You are a push-over, an emotional thinker, gentle to the extent of absurdity, and so humble that it even makes Jesus puke. (And Jesus almost never pukes, being immortal and not requiring an act of puke to dispell toxins from his corporeal manifestation.) If you write poetry, you no doubt write angsty, syrupy lines about depression, sadness, and other such redundant states of emo-being that go something like this:

life is a spike / upon which i have impaled mysefl / fuck you dad

So, your personality is defective because you are too gentle, rather underconfident in yourself, decidely lacking in any rational thought, and also a bit too inhibited. Plus, your poetry really upsets your father.

I probably made you cry, didn't I? Fucking Emo Kid.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Smartass.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hippie, the Televangelist, and the Starving Artist.

If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

The other personality types:

The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

Be sure to take my Sublime Philosophical Crap Test if you are interested in taking a slightly more intellectual test that has just as many insane ramblings as this one does!

About Saint_Gasoline

I am a self-proclaimed pseudo-intellectual who loves dashes. I enjoy science, philosophy, and fart jokes and water balloons, not necessarily in that order. I spend 95% of my time online, and the other 5% of my time in the bathroom, longing to get back on the computer. If, God forbid, you somehow find me amusing instead of crass and annoying, be sure to check out my blog and my webcomic at SaintGasoline.com.

Take The Personality Defect Test at HelloQuizzy

random post 6

2008-07-04T23:06:00.001+08:00

so.. its 7 days to vivala...

epiphany III

2008-06-24T02:23:00.005+08:00

(edited)

okay, in case u guys wondering why i din talk about changkat's epiphany III, its cox i was waiting for all the photos. haha... ok here it goes..

me talking to the audience. the lighting was pretty bad...

part of the prss gang:

law fatt and i:

steven and i:

geok fong n i:

she was beautiful tat nite! haha..

james n i:

mr andy sim n i:

somehow, i think this photo was very well taken. my favourite photo so far ba. hahha!! kudos to weijie! :D

and of cox, the little gift from james, shaun, farhan and i dono who else. lol..

my favourite flower i've recieved so far. lol..

thanks everyone for coming to support changkat n their little concert! :D

so many things to do

2008-06-23T15:23:00.003+08:00

i have many things to do:

1) go out with cheryl
2) go out with bixuan
3) go out with xiaojie
4) go out with shane
5) go out with lester

6) performance for changkat's racial harmony day concert @ simei ITE
- 3rd July: i heard there are 2 performances tat day. one at 3pm the other at 7pm O.O
7) vivala rehearsals
- thurs n fri: so much to do for vivala
8) vivala concert
- 11th July: COME WATCH!!! :D

err... tats all ba.. i think? hahha...

concert publicity

2008-06-20T23:42:00.002+08:00

Tuesday 17th June, jon came to PRSS to see the percussion ensemble. hahha.. it was a fun 2-hr session and the kids learnt alot while enjoying themself. i too, learnt alot although i was jux standing around n watching. haha..

thank you so much jon!

so now there's a plus point for vivala.. PERCUSSION ENSEMBLE - SUPER MARIO BROTHERS!
the original was composed by koji kondo
u guess who the song is arranged by? hahah!!!

toml is a big day for changkat band! haha.. and its pretty tiring to keep saying 'changkat changi secondary school military band', and to recite all of sir's achievements. LOL!

anyway

CHANGKAT CHANGI SECONDARY SCHOOL MILITARY BAND
EPIPHANY III
MELODIES AROUND THE WORLD
MARINE PARADE COMMUNITY CLUB
21ST JUNE 2008, 7PM

me playing flute................... and emcee -.-'''

mario

2008-06-13T00:09:00.003+08:00

ahhh... today's band prac was good. did alot of work for mario. requested that the kids came down in half hour slots, so tat i can work out their parts with them individually. james was the first one on the list, n he screwed the whole schedule up -.-

well it was pretty obvious tat they had alot of attention from me, and tat they really did have alot of improvement individually. but im afraid that: (1) they get restless and bored, (2) they are stressed up and develop phobia of such sessions, (3) im expecting too much from them, (4) its too time-consuming for them. well, i need u 'kids' to lemmi noe wat u think ok? :)

round 2 on tuesday.

so both mr png n mr pisit told me they think that the ensemble needs a conductor. erm. okay, im open to the idea of it although i don really think one is neccessary. but they think that i should be the one conducting. that, im not for the idea. wha i have been repeating myself gazillion times that i don wanna play for vivala, and neither do i wanna conduct anything. i've already agreed to help play for 3 pieces, but im not gonna agree to the conducting. so, anyone fancy the spot? haha..

edwin approached me to arrange 'say anything' by xjapan. zzz.. im soooo outta ideas. hoping to gain some inspiration when i go to the beach toml. lolx.. maybe im jus not listening enough ba. :)

go with me, will u? :)

wrong idea?

2008-06-08T04:16:00.001+08:00

oh please

please don give me the wrong idea

:(

1- week photo update

2008-06-07T16:45:00.003+08:00

ok here are some photos:

li ming, yue yuan and i went shopping last thursday. hahah.. n we made yue yuan try out 2 outfits at Sub. and.. WHOA. we saw the side of yue yuan that we nvr seen before... in a good way, of coz ;)

ok i noe he will kill me for puttin these up. but wait till he find my blog then say ba =P =P =P

this is a photo of the sydney opera house. MILLION THANKS to lester for the beautiful photo! :D :D :D

ok im heading out with zheng yi soon. he suddenly call me out. after 6 yrs of friendship. suddenly call me out O.o

random post 5

2008-06-05T01:46:00.002+08:00

okay i havent been blogging. naughty gal. lolx.

sooooo

i've been busy with pasir ris's mario ensemble. its confirmed being played in Vivala concert, 11th july 2008 at VCH. tix are $10 n $12. u wan then lemmi noe hor ;)

ndp trainings were held every week for the past 3 weeks.. whoa.. tats why i had the 'SHAG' post. hahha...

alamak.. im in the middle of smth now.. when i think of wat to blog, i'll be back k? muahaha..

shag

2008-05-31T20:06:00.001+08:00

SHAG

A

2008-05-31T00:24:00.001+08:00

ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!!!

its not C, its not B

ita A!!!!!

:D :D :D

whahahahhahahahahahahah!!!!!